Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
