I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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