I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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