if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize