6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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