I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
