i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
