Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
