hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i dont even know how to be here
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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