I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
