Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize