so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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