Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I need a beard to bite.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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