Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
