The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
there is glitter all over my balls
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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