well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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