Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
