Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
