The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
honey bunches of taint.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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