you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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