last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
