I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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