I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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