go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
