Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
