ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
