Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
