Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
