Christians are straight up FREAKS
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize