someone get that fucking seahorse.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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