No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
