This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize