you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
