ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize