Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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