drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
