Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
