People with herpes should wear stickers.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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