She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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