I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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