not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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