That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
