So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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