Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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