hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
