Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
