we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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