I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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