you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
