Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
