ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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