We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize