The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
