I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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