shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
