I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
