I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
