Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
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I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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