I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
