I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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