Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
