Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
