I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
